Have to get this over with so that I can continue on.

The impetus for this is that in November I found a lump in my breast, had it checked, and it appeared to be a benign, fluid-filled cyst. But I had a mammogram last week and it was no longer a cyst – now it appeared to be fibroadenoma, still benign. I wish. The biopsy revealed some “poorly differentiated cells” appearing malignant. A further scan suggested that lymph nodes in my armpit don’t appear to be especially swollen, perhaps a good sign.

So on Wednesday I’ll have a sentinel node activation and a lumpectomy on Thursday. It’s a weird place. It’s Christmas, a total surprise, and 20 years ago this week we brought my mother home to die – of breast cancer. For me, it’s hard to think of breast cancer as anything but a sad, painful end. At the same time, I’m not my mother, things have changed in the 20 years since her death and 25 years since her diagnosis. But it is hard, that’s for sure. We are on a rollercoaster of emotions.

I will also discuss some other stuff in this blog – adventures in cooking, my research, mouth off about body image, my dog and life as an American Expat in Switzerland with my Dutch husband.